


Heathens

by nea_writes



Series: Kingdom of Heathens [2]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Bribing Wisely so he won't tell their secrets shh, Can't get away with it Tyki, Gen, Pacifism AU, Poker, Portuguese!! Because I'd bet actual money Tyki probably talks lots of shit, Too bad Lavi Wisely and Allen are there, they're all besties
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 10:26:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7798252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nea_writes/pseuds/nea_writes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyki challenges Allen to another poker match, but with Wisely there all bets are off in their efforts to ensure that they’re not the losing cad. It sucks having a mind-reader in the family.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>---</p>
</div>“Wisely, come on. Don’t do this to me. Aren’t we - what did you call us - brothers born of misfortune? How could you abandon your brother like this?”
            </blockquote>





	Heathens

**Author's Note:**

> Excessive use of Portuguese because I’m a sucker for languages, lots of cute fluff, and everyone’s casual abuse of what family actually means (it means you don’t cheat your adopted uncle out of home and house in cards, but don’t tell Allen that) Also written because liketolaugh wrote a Pacifism AU piece and I am so weak. Translation of words at the bottom.  
> *Edit: I un-emphasized the Portuguese words - I really didn't like doing it from the get-go as it added an unnecessary emphasis not only on the language difference but also on what Tyki was saying, and neither was needed. The only ones left italicized are done for actual emphasis.

“Wisely,” Allen begged, ignoring Lavi’s raucous laughter beside him. “Wisely,  _stop.”_

“No can do, Allen,” Wisely said around Tyki’s gift - a particularly expensive piece of chocolate. His words came out slurred and coated. “See, this chocolate tastes really _really_   nice.”

“Wisely,” Allen groaned as he tossed down his cards and threw his head back in exasperation, jostling Road who was using his back as a convenient wall to lean against. She elbowed him sharply in the side and he snapped his teeth at her, to her delight. “Wisely, come on. Don’t do this to me. Aren’t we - what did you call us - brothers born of misfortune? How could you abandon your brother like this?”

“Hey now, baixinho,"  Tyki said, and Allen cocked his brow. The man grinned behind his upheld cards. “In all legality, Wisely is meu sobrinho, I’d think I’d have more claim.”

“I don’t care,” Allen said bluntly, sending Tyki into laughter. “What we have?” He said, gesturing between himself and Wisely, “It’s something that transcends any kind of legalities and fake adoptions!”

“Hey.” Road said, pushing back so that Allen leaned forward. He looked over his shoulder indulgently, and she pouted up at him. “It’s no fake adoption! We are the heirs of a massive fortune in Portugal!”

“Even more so,” Allen replied, nodding to himself. “You can never forget your roots! Is that not so, Wisely?”

The group focused back on the mind-reader. Wisely lolled his chocolate around his mouth from one cheek to the other, tasted it a bit longer, then bit down and swallowed it. Allen’s knee began to jump impatiently as Wisely carefully licked away all remains of the chocolate from his teeth and fingers, before finally gracing them with a look. He glanced as Tyki. “He has a point,” Wisely ceded, and Tyki groaned as Allen grinned victoriously.

“You are becoming very expensive, parceiro,”  Tyki said angrily and Allen laughed.

“We do not have brothers who are prime ministers, Tyki. Those of us born of misfortune must stick together!” Allen declared, and then reshuffled the deck of cards, starting a new round. Unless Tyki managed to procure another bribe for Wisely, Allen would win the next round for sure.

“You four,” Lavi said loudly, “are vicious and terrible examples of what a family is.”

Road, Tyki, Wisely, and Allen all voiced their opinion on this in various exclamations and in varying tones of disagreement.

“No, no,” Tyki said, waving a hand holding a cigarette. Lavi easily leaned across to flick a match for him, and Tyki gracefully lit the end with a nod of thanks. “I have to agree with the rabbit.” Lavi scowled at the borrowed nickname, and Allen laughed. “Family do not gamble and throw each other away over cards like this.”

“I don’t know, Tyki,” Road mused, and Allen could feel her head loll back in thought. She shifted and he yelped as her head appeared over his shoulder beside him, arms thrown messily around his neck. “I’ve yet to see a version of this perfect family you are talking about.” She nuzzled Allen’s cheek and hair fondly and Allen sighed, exasperated.

“Road, if Sheryl comes I am launching you across the room,” Allen warned, all too aware of how her father would react at the image they presented.

“Aww, Allen!” Road giggled, and Wisely gagged. “Father only likes to talk about the color schemes our wedding should have!”

“In case you haven’t noticed,” Allen said dryly, “We’re not exactly engaged.”

“Technicalities,” Road waved aside, and Allen sighed before dealing a new round between the three of them.

“Hey, Wisely,” Tyki called, and the boy hummed. “Did you know Allen was the one who ate your slice of chocolate cake Lenalee oh so _generously_   gave you? The one two spots made?”

“Tyki!” Allen cried, horrified. He whipped around to face Wisely.

“Is that so?” Wisely mused, tone dipping into dangerous waters.

Allen quickly tried to rectify the fast turning situation. “Tyki is the one who stole your scarves for Jasdevi to use as a hammock sling!”

_“Menino!”_   Tyki shouted, aghast and quickly paling. “We promised to never speak of it!”

“Yeah, but then you went and threw me into the fire like that! All’s fair in love and war, _meu irmão!”_   Allen threw back, and Tyki reeled.

“You play dirty, menino,”  Tyki said with lips trembling into a grin. “You did not tell me you understood my language.”

Allen smiled, smug and Road giggled beside him. “You never show your whole hand,” the boy said.

“That is true,” Wisely finally said, and both Tyki and Allen flinched. “However, I do believe it is time to show mine. I do have a tea date with the Earl scheduled… I wonder how he will react knowing you two are playing poker and throwing our good family name into the dirt?” Wisely stood with a swish of long scarves and Tyki and Allen scrambled up after him, cards fluttering to the ground. They stumbled on his heels, desperately trying to fix the situation as Road carefully flipped Allen’s cards all over. She whistled, and Lavi leaned over to look.

She glanced up at him with a white-toothed grin. “He had a royal flush.”

**Author's Note:**

> A quick little warm-up piece before I finally finish that commissioned one-shot. I love these five together, they’re an endless amount of hilarity. Also, Portuguese confuses the shit outta me because I think I understand but then I don’t?? Idk but my brain practically breaks itself trying to read the Spanish in it haha It all sounds too similar
> 
> Anyways I love writing Tyki using casual Portuguese like this, because why not? We should celebrate all the diversity in D.Gray-man more! But speaking of, if I messed anything up, please let me know so I can correct it!
> 
>   * _Baixinho_ – shorty
>   * _Meu sobrinho_ – my nephew
>   * _Parceiro_ – brother (slang)
>   * _Menino_ – boy
>   * _Meu irmão_ – my brother
> 



End file.
